Latenightsandwhitewine
They say LA is one of the brightest and best places to be. On one side of that I tend to agree, great weather, good food, and a melting pot of people and opportunities. On the other side its one of the loneliest and desolate places I know. Full of people that are to cool to acknowledge your existence let alone ask you to hang out on a weekday night. For just once I’d like to be the first one to be hit up to hang out instead of finding out through another person something is going down and that I can come if I want. I’m not in a band, I don’t have loads of money and I guess that makes me less valuable. The amount of worth I feel Is slim. The amount of emptiness I feel is vast. There is no space between just a giant gap. And I know this is bigger then me, and that there is a greater good to come of it, but often times I’d rather drink a bottle of wine to numb my emotions. No this isn’t a “oh my life is so hard” speach, I don’t want sympathy or apologies. I want a friend like I have back home. I want someone to answer my text messages at night and not be drunk or at “some insane party”. I want someone to know me well enough that I can stop explaining why I feel the way I do and they would just get it and understand. What is life without friends? Its lonely as hell. I’d like to think that I’ve been raised to be the opposite of what I just explained. Maybe that’s why when things like this go down I get so upset. Its 3am, and I’m not tired, I’ve laid in bed since 10. I ate dinner alone, watched tv alone and drank alone. Tomorrow is a new day though right, it’ll be different, it’ll be better, it has to. There’s no point in writing much more, the tank is empty and we are, I am, in the middle of the dessert, better start walking.
